ADVANCED DIRECTIVE PLANNING with My Angel Janice CEOLD

An Overview

Our lives are so busy! To stay organized, we plan our calendars out, everything from the mundane to the joyful, (like vacations). All of these plans are based around daily living. Until a major un-planned life event occurs; a diagnosis, a health scare, an accident. These life events put our happy, steady plans on hold, sometimes temporarily, sometimes indefinitely. Suddenly, the mood shifts from consistent and manageable to turmoil and chaos. 

What Is An Advanced Directive?

An Advanced Directive is a legal document (i.e. Living Will, Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment or “POLST”, Medical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment or “MOLST”) that explains how you want medical decisions about you to be made if you cannot make the decisions yourself. An Advanced Directive instructs your health care team and loved ones to your wishes of what kind of health care you do or don’t want (i.e., Medical Intervention, Palliative Care, Do Not Resuscitate or “DNR”) or who you want to make decisions for you when you can't (i.e., Medical Power of Attorney or Medical POA). An Advanced Directive is created ahead of time and put in place before the need arises, while you are clear about your healthcare wishes. These medical decisions may include special actions or emergency care from your health care team.

Advanced Directives only apply to health care decisions and do not affect financial or money matters. The laws around Advanced Directives are different in each state. To create your Advanced Directives, you can talk to your health care provider, an End-Of-Life Doula, Family Member, or an Elder Law Attorney about filling out your Advanced Directives while you are still healthy, in case you become too ill or are unable to make medical decisions for yourself in the future.

Did you know… The Patient Self-Determination Act (PSDA) was passed by the United States Congress in 1990 as an amendment to the Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1990. Effective on December 1, 1991, this legislation required many hospitals, nursing homes, home health agencies, hospice providers, health maintenance organizations (HMO’s), and other health care institutions to provide information about Advanced Health Care Directives to adult patients upon their admission to the healthcare facility. However, this law does not apply to individual physicians. The 1990 Patient Self-Determination Act (PSDA) encourages everyone to plan and put in writing their wishes about the types and extent of medical care they want to accept or refuse if they become unable to make those decisions due to illness. Health care facilities cannot force or require patients to have Advanced Directives in place, it’s ultimately the patient's choice.

I’m a true believer that these end-of-life conversations and plans are a vital part of life. I have lived what happens when these plans are not in place and wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. Directive Planning is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and your loved ones. These plans can always be modified as life events change. There are several online options available offering free Directive Planning services. As a certified End of Life Doula, I am also experienced in creating Directive Plans and if you’re looking for a more personal touch and one-on-one support, I am happy to work with you. Please contact me at MyAngelJaniceCEOLD@gmail.com or call or text me at 440/494-6263. 

LEGACY PROJECTS with My Angel Janice CEOLD

An Overview 

Legacy Projects can be as simple or as complicated as you want them to be. One purpose of a pre-planned Legacy Project is to find a creative way to share your life story. It can be a set of specific lifetime events (Family History, Growing Up, Adult life, Growing Older, Pets etc.), fond memories of special family gatherings, or a personal story that had a significant impact on an individual's life. There are guidelines that can be followed, questions to spark personal reflections such as: Music, movies, books or poems that impacted one’s life, the most important people in one’s life, what the person values most, words of wisdom from lessons learned, what they’d like to be remembered for, or who they care most about and how that relationship impacted their life and much more.

Creative Project Ideas

When these questions can be answered honestly then you and your loved ones can move on to the next steps in creating your Legacy Project. The mediums you can use are limitless. You can take photographs and create collages, paint, draw, use crayons, colored pencils, cloth (create squares with love messages and sew them into a wall hanging or quilt). Video diaries can be created (these videos can also be of the Legacy Projects you’re working on too!) Maybe you would like to write someone a letter, poem or song. Everyone has their own unique stories and talents. The only thing limiting you is your imagination!

Timeline for the Project

Depending on the person you’re working with, their current health and abilities you may have to limit the time spent working on these projects. If your loved one is not doing well, you can take a special clay casting of their hands or take an imprint of their finger prints to work into a nice picture. 

If you or a loved one is interested in creating a Legacy Project, consider working with an End-of-Life Doula and take the opportunity to create this loving keepsake. I believe everyone should have a personal memento of their loved one. Having a physical reminder of the special times you and your loved one shared is priceless! As an End-of-Life Doula with an artistic side, I would be honored to help you and your loved ones create a special Legacy Project. Please contact me via email, MyAngelJaniceCEOLD@gmail.com or call or text me at 440-494-6263. 

CAREGIVER RESPITE with My Angel Janice CEOLD

An Overview

I have been a caregiver in one capacity or another most of my life. I am the oldest of four siblings and it was my job to look after my younger siblings when we were growing up. I enjoy helping others set and achieve goals, support family and friends by shopping, providing meals or accompanying them to doctor appointments. I’ve done research on diagnosis’s received, plus I’ve had experience with my own past health issues. As the caregiver for my Mom during her cancer journey, I have lived the physical, mental and emotional drain caring for a terminally ill loved one can have. When you add in a family and children on top of your caregiving responsibilities, being overwhelmed is an understatement!

Often, the main caregiver is juggling too many responsibilities, and not always successfully. Ultimately, someone or something would fall through the cracks. I’ve met other family caregivers over the years who faced similar situations to mine. Most caregivers need physical and emotional support. This is an area where I can help.

Did you Know?

Independent studies have shown that roughly 30% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for dies. If the caregiver does not die, they often develop higher rates of illness, some auto-immune diseases and depression. In families, the main caregiver is often the eldest female. 

Caregiving in 2020 and Beyond

In 2020, there are a few more options available to help families provide support to their loved ones. There are local companies that provide caregiver services for private pay hire, at home caregivers covered by long-term care insurance, adult daycares and senior centers. During Covid-19, the adult daycares and senior centers have been closed so families have had to share more responsibilities or find outside agencies for hire to care for loved ones at home. I can appreciate what these families are going through and am here to offer my help and support. 

Helpful Tips

If you find yourself in a full-time caregiver situation, here are a few tips to make sure you find a window of time to self-care: 

1. Accept you may feel some guilt taking time to recharge and refresh your body, mind and spirit. (Self-Care is NOT selfish, It's a vital, loving and kind thing to do for YOU!)

2. Determine the best way to introduce a caregiver to your loved one, if possible, combine paid services with help from family and friends.

3. Be sure that you or a trusted family member check in on your loved one regularly. 

As a Caregiver and End-of-Life Doula I offer my services to help you and your loved ones take a much needed break. I can be reached via email, MyAngelJaniceCEOLD@gmail.com or you can call or text me at 440-494-6263. 

BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT with My Angel Janice CEOLD

An Overview

There are as many ways to grieve as there are stars in the sky. Bereavement is the active period of grief and mourning after a death or loss. Any way you look at or label it, grief can be mental, physical, social and emotional. It is a natural response everyone will experience at some time in their life. In order for us to understand and process grief, studies have revealed several categories to help us. 

Mental grief symptoms can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness and depression. This type of grief can occur due to job loss, divorce, loss of a loved one or beloved pet.

Guilt can occur when you’ve lost a loved one to terminal illness. Feelings often include: I should have, I could have or I wish I had. Emotions can be intense; mood swings and depression can be deep. I know when my Mom was nearing the end of her cancer journey, I felt guilty that I couldn’t fix the situation. My feelings were valid to me, but the reality was I had done everything humanly possible. My guilt stemmed from my feelings of helplessness. When Mom passed away, I took time to evaluate my feelings, understand that I was a good, loving daughter and that no one has control over anyone’s life journey. There are events that happen in life that we need to face and come to terms with. 

Naming Your Experiences

You can experience Disenfranchised (Hidden) Grief. This type of grief applies to those who are invalidated or unacknowledged. Loss of a beloved pet, miscarriage, body part, loss of personality due to dementia, loss of a partner (i.e. boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancée, in-law etc.). These losses are heartbreaking and those experiencing this type of loss need mental and emotional support on their healing journey.

Ambiguous Grief. This type of loss occurs when those left behind don’t have closure or a clear understanding of what happened to their loved one. Loss of a friend or loved one to suicide, murder, unexplained disappearance can leave those left behind reeling. These losses are heartbreaking and those experiencing this type of loss need mental and emotional support, including professional support to help them on their healing journey. Sadly, there are many families experiencing this type of loss from police shootings and racial unrest. 

Acute Grief occurs in the early period after a loss. This form of grief can dominate the life of a bereaved person. The person experiencing this type of grief can have strong feelings of yearning and longing, deep sorrow, depression, intense thoughts and vivid memories of their departed loved one. They may require professional assistance to help restore mental and emotional health.

Anticipatory (or Preparatory) Grief is the distress a person may feel in the days, months or even years before a death occurs. "It's the experience of knowing that a change is coming, and starting to experience bereavement in the face of that," according to Allison Werner-Lin, Ph.D. Patients with a terminal illness, as well as their family members, friends and caregivers, often experience this type of grief. It's important to talk about your feelings with family, friends, or a professional to help restore mental and emotional health.

Ways to Help Others Who Are Grieving 

Here are a few suggestions anyone can use to Support Someone who is Grieving:

1. Let them feel sad and let them express their emotions. Sadness is a healthy part of the healing process. 

2. Leave them care packages. Be sure to include some of their favorite treats, including personal care items to help them feel better. Pampering is always appreciated!

3. Offer them mental and physical support. Be specific about what you are doing to help them. Offer to go grocery shopping, walk the dog, bring a meal every week, come help with the children, clean, do laundry. Be sure to keep doing this for as long as they need help. 

4. Take them out, spend time doing an activity. Anyone can take a nature walk, just enjoy the time together. If they feel like talking, listen with an open heart, don’t judge, try to fix or offer advice. Breaking up the day can have a very therapeutic effect on someone processing their loss.

5. Be sure to acknowledge big events and small events in their life. You can send a text, phone call, email, or snail mail a card. They are still living and having a friend acknowledge their life event is appreciated.

6. When they are ready, talk and reminisce about the person who passed. Be aware of how your family member or friend is feeling. There’s no reason to rush them to face their loss. Grieving is a process, there is no time limit for someone to grieve.

7. Don’t be afraid to ask, “How is today going for you?” “What can I do to help you feel better today?” It’s ok not to know exactly what to say. Just being there in the moment and present can make all the difference. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around a grieving person. You are there to love and support them unconditionally!

If you or a loved one are experiencing a loss and you need extra support, I am happy to provide that support to you. Please email me at MyAngelJaniceCEOLD@gmail.com or call or text me at 440-494-6263.